Something’s Missing

I want more than what I have right now.

It feels like everything is going right in my life right now, which is a miracle for anybody. But there are moments when I feel a little empty. And I think it’s time to fill that void, with what? I’m not sure yet.

After I got my Master’s degree life started to become hella chill. There were no more responsibilities, there was nothing else occupying my time. But why is that such a bad thing. I thought of this as a time for me to “relax”. But I think I relaxed a little too much and now it’s time to get it going. This should be when you start building a foundation for the future, your future. Time is precious and it’s hard to keep track of it as you’re progressing through life.

I’ve sort of buried myself in my work. I’ve definitely placed a heavier emphasis on it since I graduated and I think it has showed. I’m fortunate to have found something that I truly enjoy doing no matter how stressful it might be. But then there’s a part of me that always wants that change, as soon as things start becoming a routine I get ansty, what’s gonna happen next…oh the same thing that happened yesterday.

There’s also a pressure at home to be the best that I can be. Setting an example for my sister and others and at the same time catering to my parents needs. One thing I can say for sure is that I do not want to let my parents down. They have done so much for me and I never forget it. There was definitely a time where I was very unappreciative of their sacrifices but I think that happens to everybody at a certain age. Once you mature you see what your parents have done to make sure you have the best life possible. In order to honor that I try to do what they need/ask me to do. I’m still working on that part but I want to be as open/honest with them as possible.

Maybe I’m a bit too open and honest with them but that’s a blog for another time..

Anyways..I tend to go on these tangents every time I write.

One of the ways I want to occupy my time is to learn how to code/program. I think it’s an invaluable skill especially nowadays. I’m not sure if I want to make a career out of it but I feel like it’s good to have some kind of background in with this. I’ve procrastinated on actually getting this started and one of the ways I’m procrastinating is writing this blog..but I will get it done.

Hopefully that fills the void for now, but I don’t think it’s ever wrong to always want more than what you have.


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